You may have recently attempted to ask a stranger or a friend out on a date. Perhaps you invited her to a social gathering. For whatever reason, she said that she had plans and was unable to join you. There are a few possible reasons for her statement, and she may have given verbal and physical cues to help you better understand her meaning. It is important to listen to and accept her statement. Later on, you can always try to strengthen your relationship.
When a Stranger or an Acquaintance Has Plans
When you are trying to understand what she meant when she said that she has made plans, you should look at the status of your current relationship. A stranger or acquaintance may respond like this to be polite and inform you that she is not interested in going out with you. Most of the time, someone that you do not know will politely refuse you like this. If this happens, then do not attempt to keep the relationship going.
It is normal for a stranger to be uninterested in a relationship right after they meet someone. For that person to feel comfortable, they need to know more about you. If you are rejected by a stranger, but they seem like they are interested in getting to know you better, then keep talking to them. If you meet that same person again, then try to strike up a polite conversation. They may be interested after they get to know you better. If she is already an acquaintance and says she has plans, she may just be unsure about her feelings or busy on that date.
Listen and accept her feelings. Tell her that you would like to get to know her better. She may want to know that you are interested in seeing her in the future. Be honest about your feelings, but be certain that you respect the status of your relationship. Most importantly, speak with kindness and respect. This is the foundation of any successful relationship.
If a New Friend Informs You That She Has Made Plans
After a stranger becomes an acquaintance, there may be new opportunities to start a relationship. You may find that the two of you see each other fairly regularly or share common friends. In time, this relationship may become a friendship. Early friendships are often a time where each of you can learn about each other.
Just because you have recently become friends does not mean that the other person is willing to jump into a romantic relationship. Some people move faster or slower than others. Most people want to feel a strong level of trust before they are willing to go out with someone. If she says that she has made plans, then it is likely that she wants to get to know you better before accepting your offer.
If you asked her about a specific date, then it is entirely possible that she has made plans for that date. Her statement may be entirely honest, and you should not assume that it’s a polite refusal. You may take this opportunity to suggest another day or time.
If you ask her about another day and she gives you another excuse, then it is likely that she is not interested in having a romantic relationship at this time. Accept and respect her feelings because trying to push her into a relationship will only push her away from you. She is aware that you are interested in having a romantic relationship with you, so she can always reach out later if she wants to.
When an Established Friend Already Has Plans
If you have a strong, established relationship with a friend, then it is likely that she just has plans. In this case, she is being honest about her schedule and is probably not making a polite excuse. However, it is still possible that she is not interested in developing a romantic relationship with you—she might just want to be friends. Do not let this rejection to influence your friendship. If you are friends with her, then you will respect her feelings and wishes.
She may have let you know that she has made plans because of a variety of reasons. Each person is different and has different needs when it comes to friendships and partners. Some people want to have relationships that they can rely on without the stress of maintaining a romantic partnership. It is possible that she is not interested in going on a date. Her feelings are perfectly acceptable. She has no requirement to do anything that she does not feel comfortable doing.
You can always ask her what time would work better for her if you think that she really does have plans. She may give you a day and time that works well for her. She may give a reason for why she does not want to go out. Whatever she says, accept her answer. If you can handle remaining friends, keep the friendship going. If you cannot be friends with someone that you have an unrequited crush on, there is also no problem with moving on.
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